So now we’re ALL THE WAY in North Dakota! As I mentioned in my last post, it is a HUGE adjustment. This place is TINY, with a population slightly over 6,000, compared to the Chicago Metro area’s 2.7 million person population. We don’t even have a Walmart here!! In order to get to the closest Walmart, we actually have to get onto the interstate and drive approximately 35-40 minutes!! That’s insane!
Although our new home isn’t all high rise buildings and busy streets, there’s a lot to be said for the simplicity of things here. Everything moves so much slower it seems. It’s the type of place that IF a store is open on a Sunday, they don’t open until noon. It’s the type of town that has all of the necessities, and not really much more. It’s so refreshing. In full disclosure we’ve been here for quite a few months now, and it definitely took some getting used to. The main store we shop at for basic necessities is probably the Dollar General. I didn’t even know that Dollar General had their own brands of items until I got here! I have to admit, I was a little bratty about it at first. I didn’t know if these new products were going to work for me, or if my skin would react to new face cleansers and lotions. But, I am still alive and here to talk about it. LOL.
Obviously fashion sense is VERY different here. In place of corporate offices in suits and slacks, there are shops, small stores and boutiques. I now work for a salvage yard / towing company so instead of wearing dresses and heels to work, I wear my “work jeans” and boots. I think I have only worn shoes, like gym shoes, twice since I have been here. I still do administrative work, but it’s not nearly to the extent as before.
My sons adjusting process and timing is and has been a lot different than mine. For me it was relief and joy, and a sense of being when we got here. For my son at first, it was the complete opposite. Even though he had told me that we should move here, he was still having a hard time processing everything. He wasn’t able to push things aside quite like I was. Even though we moved in with my brother and his family, and my son was surrounded by his cousins he still felt out of place. He didn’t say it, but I could sense it.
He wasn’t around his friends, and he was in a completely new environment. I remember moving as a kid and my mom telling me that I could keep in touch with my old friends, but I knew that wouldn’t happen. Well, I tried to tell my son basically the same thing. Except it’s so much easier for him because he has his own cell phone and social media! We didn’t have that when I was a young teenager. Nonetheless, not physically being in the presence of his friends was totally different than having them on his phone. I knew it was going to be hard, I was just trying to make it easier.
Well, he had finally adjusted to living at my brothers’ house when I got our house. When I did finally find a place I put a deposit down right away. Availability was not great, and I needed to secure something. I showed it to my son before it was ready. That night DID NOT GO WELL. It broke his heart, and it made him think that we should just be at “home”, which was the house we had just left after having traumatic experiences there. That led to breaking my heart. I was SERIOUSLY feeling like the worst parent in the world at that moment. I knew I was doing the right thing, but I just didn’t feel like it at that moment. I just had to keep telling myself that it would get easier, and better.
You know what? It did. It got so much easier and better. My son made his own friends, and I knew he would. He talks to his old friends pretty regularly also. We get to see my brother and his family all the time too. They only live like a couple of blocks away, and my son is either always over there or my nieces and nephews are always over here. I have everything I have always wanted here. A home, my family, inner peace and happiness.
We have all seen that movie, or read that book where the female in distress moves to the country to find some inner peace. Well friends, I’m not TOTALLY in the country, but I will say that there is a certain placidity about moving to a much smaller town where the people are nicer and times are simpler. Don’t get me wrong, we both still have our hard days, and you will hear ALL ABOUT THAT. But overall, we are much happier, even if we are still adjusting.
Have you ever had to move with young children or teenagers? What were your biggest hurdles?