After a very dark night and the true colors of my boyfriend at the time really came out, I was left with a huge mess to clean. Physically and emotionally.
After he was hauled off, and taken away I cried A LOT. After a week I was still crying A LOT. Like when does this ever get easier? Apparently it doesn’t, not for a while anyway. On top of everything I was already going through, I also got a call from family services letting me know they would be visiting my house, and making sure my son isn’t getting beaten by me. Of course I would never ever do anything to hurt my son, and would try to only do my best to protect him. I had nothing to hide, and I wasn’t at all worried about them coming. I know they had to make sure that I am doing my job as a mother, and to make sure my son is safe. The part that hurt was all of the invasion. The invasion of my love and trust, and the invasion of my home.
I am an introvert, so it is hard for me to reach out to people in times of need. I always feel like a burden and worry about what everyone else has going on, other than listening to me. I felt embarrassed, lost, and obviously very confused.
My brother called me a few nights after the incident, and he doesn’t call me often. (He lives in a different state) I don’t know if he felt in his heart that something was going on or what. When I answered the phone I lost it. I just bawled my eyes out forever and ever. We talked for hours, but at the end of the day, I felt better. For the time being anyway. It did help, and it helped a lot. My brother told me to reach out to some other resources. Like some older friends of ours.
Fast forward a few days, and after a lot of heartache and putting my embarrassed feelings aside, I reached out to a friend and asked for her husband’s help. She told me I could give him a call so I texted him first. My brother didn’t tell them what had happened like I thought he was going to, so you can imagine their confused thoughts and wondering why I was reaching out. When it finally came out, everybody was in shock. Of course.
Aside from some much needed emotional support, my friends husband is a contractor. He was able to fix some of the damage done to my house before DCFS came to visit. He was even able to guarantee some of the other damage that was done would be fixed in a timely manner to give DCFS some good faith.
I had a few other friends reach out to me, had a couple of lunch dates and such. These are all people that I may not have otherwise thought would reach out, but here we are. Also I am extremely happy I sucked it up, and reached out to the friends that I did reach out to. I wouldn’t have been able to do this all on my own. Emotionally I had been a disaster. Without my small, yet resourceful support system I would have potentially fallen apart. I still felt alone, but not as alone. I would have felt more confused and lost and hurt than I already was had I not had anyone.
The biggest point is that, although it is and can be hard to reach out in times of need it is most definitely important. It’s embarrassing, it’s hard, it’s emotional, and extremely tiring. Throughout all of these emotions, I can’t express enough how important it is to have a support system. Outside of family and friends, there are ALWAYS community outreach groups which you can usually find on your state county website. If it is a case that involves the authorities, they will usually offer that information up front.
If you EVER FEEL that your life, or the lives of your loved ones (children and other persons residing in the household) are in immediate danger please call 911 right away!!