Hello my lovely readers!! Although I have plenty that I want to write about, those other topics will have to wait.
Last month I did a “Don’t Drink in December Challenge”. I wanted to let everyone know that I was SUCCESSFUL!!! It was easy at times, others not so much. I made it though!! Woop woop.
Being Reintroduced To Alcohol
For New Years, Bubs congratulated me and got me some wine. So, I indulged myself in the wine. For the most part I was enjoying it. After a bit, it gave me a headache. Even while still drinking it. I got really tired and ended up taking a nap. When I woke up, my son had already gone to hang out with his girlfriend, and my daughter was with friends. So, it was just Papa, Bubs and me. We played cards and it was really nice.
I also drank once again on the Friday AND Saturday after New Years. On the Friday after New Years we had our family “New Years” dinner. I was ridiculously stressed too! Dinner did not go as planned, but it all ended up being okay. Then Saturday was our work party, the one I mentioned was being held at a bar. Well… I had two drinks and was schnockered!! These drinks were of the Long Island Iced Tea variety, so they were very strong. It did not take much. It was also the first time I drank any hard liquor in a really long time. I remember the night, though. I behaved and didn’t embarrass anyone including myself. And I didn’t leave my phone at the bar like I did last year. (WHEW!)
The next day, I was so freaking bloated. Not just tummy bloat, but even my fingers were swollen. I didn’t have a headache really, I was just really uncomfortable. It took a couple of days for all of that to go down.
So now I am left with the big question: I did a whole entire dry month. What do I want to do with this? Do I want to restart my sobriety journey? Or do I only drink on special occasions like birthdays? Who the heck knows.
Mixed Emotions and Irritable Feelings
This week, I was feeling very irritable and emotional for no “apparent reason”. Maybe it’s because this whole week has been emotionally tough. Papa left on Tuesday, so I stayed home from work to see him off. I really wanted to cry, but didn’t allow myself. Also, on the very same day someone from my past reached out to me. I know she meant well and everything, but just the thought of her or anyone from her family reaching out induces immediate panic attacks. Like heart racing, hands shaking panic attacks. (Another story for another day.) I wanted so badly to stay home the rest of the day and be alone. Since I was in such a funky mood I actually decided that it was best to go to work after lunch. I figured that being around other people and coworkers would take my mind off things. It would be easier than staying at home alone, with only my stressed and depressed thoughts to keep me company.
On Friday after work, I was so tempted to drink some of the wine I was gifted at our work Christmas Party. I didn’t. Instead I made one of my mocktails, which my niece called “mockeritas”. (I liked that word a whole lot better, and seems more original so I told her I am going to use that word from now on.) Would you believe we had to go to a couple different stores just to get what I thought were the most simple ingredients? I even had to substitute some of the flavor packets that I get for a different one. Small town I guess.
Honestly I think I would feel really bad if I drank my wine. I don’t know why either? Have any of you experienced this after not drinking for a while, and then starting again? Anyway for now, it is just going to sit in the basement pantry in the cute distressed teal wine caddy it came in. So, ultimately while I’m trying to figure out what to do with myself I guess that means I am not drinking again. LOL.
The Package Thief Who Didn’t Steal?
On a completely different note: I received one of my Amazon packages the other day. I had ordered some essential oils for my goal of being more sustainable and not spending money on crap I didn’t need. Anyway, the oils will help me make my own home cleaners, body scrubs and so much more. (Using what we have first, then never going back!)
I got home, and the whole entire package had been opened. It appears that someone cut open the packaging tape and realized they didn’t want what was inside the package. SERIOUSLY!? Why are people such jerks?
At least if it had been broken in shipping, that would be a decent excuse. Nope. Someone was nosy and looking for a free item. I personally have never had an issue like this before, but I suppose there is a first time for everything. It’s especially surprising considering I never had this issue in the Greater Chicago area (and it happens there quite often!), but here in Small Town USA! Perhaps this has added to the irritability. On the bright side, this alleged “thief” didn’t want my essential oils, so they were not stolen.
Fresh & Refreshed
Saturday, I woke up in a much better mood! I am so thankful for that. I was happy to be in a better mood, I was also equally happy I did not drink Friday night. After work we hit the thrift stores. I have a restoration / preservation project that I am working on for my boss, and I needed supplies. I am also looking for a hanging wall hutch to display the knick knacks that were once my moms. Lastly, I wanted to look for a bread box (kind of an old school wood one) so I can make more homemade bread and keep it fresh instead of buying. Well, the thrift store shopping trip was a bust. All except for the pair of Oakley sunglasses I got for 53 cents! Score!! I was going to buy a pair here soon, but these are almost perfect except for some sun fading. I got a lot of cleaning done as well so it was very productive.
So, although I am no longer doing my Don’t Drink in December Challenge, I am still trying to figure out if drinking is something I want to go back to. For now, my wine will stay in the basement in the cute distressed teal caddy it came in.
I hope everyone is having a great start to their year! What have your challenges been so far this year, if any?