Feature To Be Sober Or Not So Sober

To Be Sober, Or Not So Sober

Hello my lovely readers!! Although I have plenty that I want to write about, those other topics will have to wait.

Last month I did a “Don’t Drink in December Challenge”. I wanted to let everyone know that I was SUCCESSFUL!!! It was easy at times, others not so much. I made it though!! Woop woop.

To Be Sober Or Not So Sober

Being Reintroduced To Alcohol

For New Years, Bubs congratulated me and got me some wine. So, I indulged myself in the wine. For the most part I was enjoying it. After a bit, it gave me a headache. Even while still drinking it. I got really tired and ended up taking a nap. When I woke up, my son had already gone to hang out with his girlfriend, and my daughter was with friends. So, it was just Papa, Bubs and me. We played cards and it was really nice.

I also drank once again on the Friday AND Saturday after New Years. On the Friday after New Years we had our family “New Years” dinner. I was ridiculously stressed too! Dinner did not go as planned, but it all ended up being okay. Then Saturday was our work party, the one I mentioned was being held at a bar. Well… I had two drinks and was schnockered!! These drinks were of the Long Island Iced Tea variety, so they were very strong. It did not take much. It was also the first time I drank any hard liquor in a really long time. I remember the night, though. I behaved and didn’t embarrass anyone including myself. And I didn’t leave my phone at the bar like I did last year. (WHEW!)

The next day, I was so freaking bloated. Not just tummy bloat, but even my fingers were swollen. I didn’t have a headache really, I was just really uncomfortable. It took a couple of days for all of that to go down.

What’s Next?

So now I am left with the big question: I did a whole entire dry month. What do I want to do with this? Do I want to restart my sobriety journey? Or do I only drink on special occasions like birthdays? Who the heck knows.

Mixed Emotions and Irritable Feelings

This week, I was feeling very irritable and emotional for no “apparent reason”. Maybe it’s because this whole week has been emotionally tough. Papa left on Tuesday, so I stayed home from work to see him off. I really wanted to cry, but didn’t allow myself. Also, on the very same day someone from my past reached out to me. I know she meant well and everything, but just the thought of her or anyone from her family reaching out induces immediate panic attacks. Like heart racing, hands shaking panic attacks. (Another story for another day.) I wanted so badly to stay home the rest of the day and be alone. Since I was in such a funky mood I actually decided that it was best to go to work after lunch. I figured that being around other people and coworkers would take my mind off things. It would be easier than staying at home alone, with only my stressed and depressed thoughts to keep me company.

On Friday after work, I was so tempted to drink some of the wine I was gifted at our work Christmas Party. I didn’t. Instead I made one of my mocktails, which my niece called “mockeritas”. (I liked that word a whole lot better, and seems more original so I told her I am going to use that word from now on.) Would you believe we had to go to a couple different stores just to get what I thought were the most simple ingredients? I even had to substitute some of the flavor packets that I get for a different one. Small town I guess.

Strawberry Mockerita with TV in background
Enjoying a Strawberry Mockerita while watching a movie.

Honestly I think I would feel really bad if I drank my wine. I don’t know why either? Have any of you experienced this after not drinking for a while, and then starting again? Anyway for now, it is just going to sit in the basement pantry in the cute distressed teal wine caddy it came in. So, ultimately while I’m trying to figure out what to do with myself I guess that means I am not drinking again. LOL.

The Package Thief Who Didn’t Steal?

On a completely different note: I received one of my Amazon packages the other day. I had ordered some essential oils for my goal of being more sustainable and not spending money on crap I didn’t need. Anyway, the oils will help me make my own home cleaners, body scrubs and so much more. (Using what we have first, then never going back!)

I got home, and the whole entire package had been opened. It appears that someone cut open the packaging tape and realized they didn’t want what was inside the package. SERIOUSLY!? Why are people such jerks?

Open Amazon Package
My Amazon package was cut open by someone!

At least if it had been broken in shipping, that would be a decent excuse. Nope. Someone was nosy and looking for a free item. I personally have never had an issue like this before, but I suppose there is a first time for everything. It’s especially surprising considering I never had this issue in the Greater Chicago area (and it happens there quite often!), but here in Small Town USA! Perhaps this has added to the irritability. On the bright side, this alleged “thief” didn’t want my essential oils, so they were not stolen.

Fresh & Refreshed

Saturday, I woke up in a much better mood! I am so thankful for that. I was happy to be in a better mood, I was also equally happy I did not drink Friday night. After work we hit the thrift stores. I have a restoration / preservation project that I am working on for my boss, and I needed supplies. I am also looking for a hanging wall hutch to display the knick knacks that were once my moms. Lastly, I wanted to look for a bread box (kind of an old school wood one) so I can make more homemade bread and keep it fresh instead of buying. Well, the thrift store shopping trip was a bust. All except for the pair of Oakley sunglasses I got for 53 cents! Score!! I was going to buy a pair here soon, but these are almost perfect except for some sun fading. I got a lot of cleaning done as well so it was very productive.

So, although I am no longer doing my Don’t Drink in December Challenge, I am still trying to figure out if drinking is something I want to go back to. For now, my wine will stay in the basement in the cute distressed teal caddy it came in.

Distressed Teal Wine Caddy with Wine
Distressed Teal Wine Caddy with Wine that I may or may not drink…

I hope everyone is having a great start to their year! What have your challenges been so far this year, if any?

Feature Photo by Min An from Pexels.

14 thoughts on “To Be Sober, Or Not So Sober

  1. Maybe you can moderate? I don’t believe I can do that so I’m defo sober for the long term. I haven’t said ‘never again’ but I want to keep moving forwards. Interesting that you had alcohol and then it all went pear shaped. How do we ever know if it’s a cause, an association or a pure coincidence?? Mockerita looked fab though 😋
    Claire xx

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    1. Isn’t it refreshing!? Since writing this, I did drink my wine. Not all at once though. LOL. I’m not sure when the next time I will drink is, and it probably won’t be anytime soon. I have so much more fun without it, for sure – and I am a lot more productive!

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  2. I love the idea of being sober. I’m an alcoholic/addict in recovery and I’ve noticed the same things you have, as far as drinking (I will NOT go back to drugs). Not only do I not like it as much, it takes me more and more alcohol to get a buzz that I’m seeking, every time I drink. Being as I’m an alcoholic, it’s ridiculous. I can drink a 1.75 in a week, just drinking straight from a bottle of booze. Pretty much any booze. I only drink a couple times a month and usually it’s one beer or a couple drinks but I’ve realized that because my life is in an uproar, I have to be mindful not to use the alcohol as a coping mechanism. It’s very hard to do, but just like you did, I’m promising myself to be more mindful of what’s going on around me, and remember that feeling like crap doesn’t help life at all. Congratulations! Love this!

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    1. Hi Jamie! So happy to hear that you are not going back to drugs! 🙂 That is so very important for you and your daughter. I was the same where I would only drink a couple times a month. I did drink a couple times after my “Don’t Drink in December Challenge”, but haven’t drank since, and am loving how I am feeling!! Thank you so much for reading, and I am so glad it resonated with you. 🙂

      Also, I wanted to comment on a couple of your blog posts but was having a hard time finding the words. Narc abuse recovery is a hard topic to write about! I will revisit today. Did you still need help with your menus? The comments were closed for that post, but figured I could help you out. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Yeah I do need help with the entire blogging thing lol I suck 😂 I mean I read lots of stuff online but it’s kind of hard to understand sometimes. I like your page it’s awesome. You have a lot of features that I’d like to learn to add 😁😁 not that you don’t have your own life but if you could help me with resources or just send me some quick directions that would be super cool! Some days I get so overwhelmed with setting it up, aesthetically, that I just give up. And I don’t learn well from reading something I do better with visuals. I didn’t even think of trying YouTube…duh lol

    Thank you so much. I don’t expect you to sit there and explain everything to me lol but like I said if you could share some resources that aren’t jibber jabber, then perfect 😂🤓

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  4. Amy, your blog looks amazing! And I very much enjoyed reading your post.

    To be sober or not be sober…

    I have a seafood allergy. If I eat shrimp, lobster, or anything that has been cooked in the same frying oil or incurs cross-contamination with utensils, etc. with seafood – it could cause catastrophic asphyxiation and I might die. So naturally I avoid it.

    But just because I can’t eat seafood doesn’t mean my friends who aren’t allergic shouldn’t. It just means that if they’re going to Red Lobster for dinner, I’m probably gonna decline the invite.

    Likewise, I have an allergy to alcohol. Every time I drink, I breakout in handcuffs! So obviously I’ve also learned to avoid alcohol. I have friends who don’t have that allergy like I do. Just because I no longer drink alcohol doesn’t mean they shouldn’t. But if they invite me to an event where there’s a lot of “allergens” available, I’m probably taking a raincheck, no different from Red Lobster. 😉

    So… sober or not sober? My own opinion would come in the form of a fairly simple question: Allergy or no allergy? 🙂

    Have a wonderful rest of your week!
    Scott

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